The Value of Family

Hello readers.  It has been almost 2 months since I was able to post a blog post.  This is becuase 1 month ago I underwent kidney transplant surgery.  After several complications, I can proudly say that I am recovering and my new kidney is working well.  I am still amazed at modern medicine, new technology and most of all, how important family/friends are to us.

This blog post is dedicated to my husband, who donated his kidney for me, to my family who took over 24/7 with my kids and to the extended family that became a great support system to us.

I dont want to neglect my amazing friends...but will blog about their amazingness in my next blog post.

In every culture, the value of family varies.  I will not speak about other cultures in particular, but I will speak for my own culture, the Gujurati culture which most definitely puts family first.

I am part of a much bigger family than just my siblings and parents, and now husband and children.  In fact, without the extended family which I consider to be as valueable to me as my "immediate" family, I wouldnt feel complete. 

Growing up, I was surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins who were in my life on a regular basis.  I spent most weekends with them, went on vacations with them, and knew them as well as I knew those in my own home.  I didn't appreciate this as a child, but now I can surely see the importance in having more family in our lives and how our history can go back so many years. 

I gained even more appreciation for my family throughout my surgery/recovery.  Most importantly, I was able to focus on my own health without any concerns for my children, or husband (who also was recovering).  In addition to my siblings, I had (and still have) lots of extended family who did whatever they could do to make the kids feel comfortable and well taken care of.

My point is that family must be valued and we must all keep relations with each other in any way we can.  We are the best sources of love, support and friendship for each other, especially when we share "history" with each other that can be traced back to childhood.

I am now making sure my children have great relations with their family so that they can grow up and look back at all the good times they've shared.  As adults, they will continue to keep strong ties with their aunts/uncles/cousins as well as be loving siblings and children.

Find the good in your family meembers and keep in touch.

Getting an Education Outside of School

Hello readers!! So far I've talked about clothing, food, language & friendship.  Some of these posts were more controversial than others, but all were based on the idea of balancing the Indian culture in me as well as the Americanized part of me. 

One topic that I feel very knowledgeable about it education.  In addition to being a certified teacher w/ 10 yrs of teaching experience, my personal experience of attending school in America and now having two sons in the American school system allows me to have a solid opinion on how we should educate our children. 

Growing up, I was told that my level of education would determine my entire life.  My parents made sure we had time to study, kept our grades up and if needed, got the help we needed.  All three of us children attended college and became professionals in our own fields.

However, there were many other ways in which I, along with my siblings were able to learn.  We traveled alot, throughout the US as well as overseas, including trips w/out our parents starting as young as 14.  Watching our parents run the family business also gave us alot of insight on how the real world works. 
Finally, one other way in which we gained a great education is all the time we spent with our extended family.  There was alot of we gained from watching our elder aunts/uncles & cousins on a frequent basis

I believe very strongly in children having a well rounded education as children grow up.  In recent years, I have noticed many Indian families focus so deeply on their children getting perfect grades and always excelling so far ahead of the other children.  The result is that these children do very well in school and that is great.  However, they often lack in other areas.  They are not able to fit in socially with their American peers, or able to relate to the typical experiences that their peers are having.  In addition the pressure that parents are putting on their children often becomes too much for the children, who sometimes rebel by studying even less.  I want parents to allow children to experience many different ways of learning, in addition to supporting their children at school.  Children should have opportunites to travel (locally or far), meet with their friends outside of school and even gain work experience once they are old enough. In my opinion, these are all ways for children to "learn" and grow into "educated" adults. 

I am sure this topic will have different opinions, and I welcome them all.

Enjoying our Culture Through Clothing

To my devoted readers, I apologize for being MIA..its been almost 3 wks since I posted on this blog, but I am back!  To those who are reading this blog post for the first time, be sure to check out my other posts. 

This past weekend I attended a 1st birthday party.  However, this was no ordinary 1st bday party, it was a family celebration at a fine Indian restaurant.  In addition to seeing the cute little baby turn 1, the fun part for me was getting all dressed up in my Indian clothes.  Growing up and living in America gives me very few opportunities to wear Indian clothes and jewelry.  However, that doesn't mean I dont love my Indian clothes/jewelry. 

Growing up I often thought it wasn't cool to wear Indian clothes, mostly because as a teenager, I was trying to figure out how to be americanized enough, and always fit in.  Later on, probably into my late teens/early20s, I really began to appreciate how beautiful and ornate Indian clothing is, and how the jewelry always compliments the outfit.   Today, I look forward to attending social engagements anytime and almost anywhere just for the chance to wear my Indian clothes & jewelry

Indian clothing does have fashion trends like any other culture.  Whether it is paisley patterns, sparkly diamonds or dull gold, there is always an underlying fashion trend.  Interestingly enough, these trends have often transferred to clothing fashions in other cultures, including American.  As an adult, I am seeing how influential Indian fashion trends are becoming on the western world. 

Getting Indian clothes living in the US does make it somewhat more difficult to buy Indian clothes.  For me, I could go to any of the many Indian shops near my hometown of Edison, NJ.  However, there is no selection here like there is in India.  Most women (and even men) are able to visit India every few years or at least know of someone who is going to visit.  Buying the clothes in India offers a greater selection and more for your money. 

Til next time dear readers...

Being "Bi-Cultural"

First I'd like to thank all those who have commented on my first two blog posts.  I am enjoying our lively debates/discussions and appreciate all of your opinions.  We all come from different backgrounds and it is our different life experiences that allow us to have varying thoughts & ideas. 

Now I want to reflect on the issue of friendships.  Being a teenager in an American school system, while trying to keep my Indian identity was something I could not understand as a child/teenager.  Not only was going through the normal teenage anxieties, my family was one of the first to arrive/settle in America.  At times I wanted to keep my Indian background and be part of the group with my Indian peers.  Other times, I felt like an American who wouldnt fit in with newly arriving Indians around me.  At times I didnt feel as though I fit in with either culture because I was too much of a mix of both cultures. 

As an adult I have let go of the doubts.  I dont think of my friends as Indian or American, they are simply my friends.  I dont have the same concerns as I had as a teenager.  Now I meet people who have simliar interests and values as me and that is what allows our friendships to grow.  I enjoy having friends of all backgrounds and I am able to express the Indian in me at times, as well the American in me at other times.

Til next time friends I hope you enjoy reading my blog post.  I invite you to comment on this or previous posts.

Food from Two Sides of the World

Welcome back!  For this post I wanted to talk about the amazing foods that I have been able to grow up with.  One of the benefits of being from one culture while being raised in another culture, is that I was exposed to many completely different cuisines.  In fact, living in America gives all of us the opportunity to taste and enjoy all different kinds of foods.  At the same time however, I was always able to enjoy my traditional Indian meals.  There is never a week in which I have to stick to one kind of food!

The typical week for me includes two to three Indian meals.  Some of the favorite meals in our household are "chana", "brocoli tossed w/ garlic", and "kidney beans & rice".  Along with Indian dishes, we also enjoy chinese food, Mediterranean food and Italian food.  Some nights are falafel, other nights we eat chicken or just a plate of some good pasta.  Of course who among us would want to live without baking chocolate cake or blueberry muffins?

Having a diversified palette allows me to expose my children to many different kinds of tastes, flavors & cultures.  Even as babies and toddlers, my children were able to eat more than baby food out of a jar or mashed vegetables.  Now they appreciate having a variety of meals each night.  I hope all of you can allow yourself to try food from another culture...its too good to miss!

Til next time friends...

Welcome to My First Blog Entry

Welcome to my first blog entry.  I decided to write this blog because I have many thoughts and ideas about being raised as a first generation Indian in America.  Having gone through school, college & now the experience of having my children in school, I have alot to say! Issues such as language, food, clothing and social relationships have always been  a delicate issue in my life.  For my parents, raising children in a brand new culture was something that could not be learned from others before them.  As part of the early wave of Indian immigrants, they had to figure out how to raise their children while balancing both cultures.

One of the biggest issues that Indian paernts deal with is the idea of language.  There are two sides to this issue.  First there are those parents who completely lose their mother tongue and do not give their children the chance to have exposure to it.  This group of parents end up removing all parts of the Indian culture from their childrens lives. I believe that if infants/young children are given the chance to learn their mother tongue, then it will be a part of their upbringing and always be a part of what they know.  Eventually however, chldren begin school and are educated in English. It is at this point that they need to incorporate their education into their day to day lives. 

In my opinion, children must use their English speaking skills on a regular basis so that they can improve their ability to communicate with others.  In my own life, my husband and I taught out children punjabi and gujurati (mother tongues) for the first three years of life, and then switched to English.  My children do still understand their mother languages, however communicate in English.  This is all I have to say on this matter for now, however, I will certainly elaborate on this topic more on a future blog post.

I invite readers to comment on this and all my future blog posts.