First I'd like to thank all those who have commented on my first two blog posts. I am enjoying our lively debates/discussions and appreciate all of your opinions. We all come from different backgrounds and it is our different life experiences that allow us to have varying thoughts & ideas.
Now I want to reflect on the issue of friendships. Being a teenager in an American school system, while trying to keep my Indian identity was something I could not understand as a child/teenager. Not only was going through the normal teenage anxieties, my family was one of the first to arrive/settle in America. At times I wanted to keep my Indian background and be part of the group with my Indian peers. Other times, I felt like an American who wouldnt fit in with newly arriving Indians around me. At times I didnt feel as though I fit in with either culture because I was too much of a mix of both cultures.
As an adult I have let go of the doubts. I dont think of my friends as Indian or American, they are simply my friends. I dont have the same concerns as I had as a teenager. Now I meet people who have simliar interests and values as me and that is what allows our friendships to grow. I enjoy having friends of all backgrounds and I am able to express the Indian in me at times, as well the American in me at other times.
Til next time friends I hope you enjoy reading my blog post. I invite you to comment on this or previous posts.
This is a very pertinent one for me. Zara will be of school going age in 3 years time. My Dad would like to pay for her private education & has suggested a Hindu religion school which naturally has only Indian kids in it.
ReplyDeleteZara is of mixed race & I feel it would be unfair to segregate her from other cultures at such a young time in her life.
The school has an excellent academic record but I feel we are forcing her religion upon her and not allowing her to explore Roman-Catholicism.
Parents of other children from this school have commented that it has had no adverse affect on their kid's friendships & they have friends of all cultures once leaving the school.
What are your thoughts, Shrut?
This is a tough one. I tend to agree with you about not segregating Zara. However, remember that school is not raising her, it is only a tool for Zara to learn. Most of her learning is still done at home and through you & Rafael. I think as long as you give Zara many opportunities to experience parts of the Polish culture (church, foods, language) then she will grow up with both cultures. In addition, she'll be getting a wonderful education. The Hindu school will provide discipline, strict rules about studying and will give her the exposure to the Indian culture. This way she will have enough background of both cultures and as a teenager/young adult, she will be able to decide for herself which direction she wants to go in. Zara may decide on her own by 12/13 where her preferences lie and then at that point you can decide to continue the Hindu school or not. At least she will have a great foundation to rely on and use that no matter where is attending school.
ReplyDeleteI predict that by 5 or 6 she will begin to show signs of leaning towards one culture over the other and will continue to do so as she grows. AS parents, you want to expose her to both cultures so that she has the information to decide.
Thanks Shrut, for putting a new twist on it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and awesome comments! I definitely relate with the American friends/Indian friends thing. What a tightrope walk that often felt like! For me, I believe it led to me being very unsure of my identity for a long time. I found it hard to express myself or even know myself because I was constantly striving to be "Indian"-enough or "American"-enough. Like you, Shrut, at this point in my life I am confident and comfortable enough to be able to move in many circles without struggle. It's a gift of age!
ReplyDelete@Vishy, I think I confused you more??
ReplyDelete@Neesha, Im glad you could relate so well...as I think many Indian Americans our age can. One positive of growing older is gaining wisdom which ultimately is leading to happiness.
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